Remembrance
by Jessie611
Summary: One year on from the death of their friends


She walked through the park, wondering what on earth she was doing. She should be at work but she just couldn't face it. The last year had been one of the hardest of her life and today was the anniversary of the death of some of her closest work colleagues. She hesitated to call them her friends because she'd never socialised with any of them, not that she socialised with many people she worked with. But, they were people who had looked out for her, just as she'd looked out for them. There had been trust and eventually there had been understanding. That said, she guessed they had been her friends in the truest sense of the word. She sighed as she recalled that fateful day. First President Palmer, then Michelle; followed hours later by Edgar and Tony.

That day had been a lesson to her, one of not taking people for granted and one of allowing herself a little piece of comfort in a world that was bad. Not that the whole world was bad, just the world in which they worked. They faced the worst of human nature day in, day out. She had dealt with it in the way she'd always dealt with the world, by shutting it out. But twelve months ago she had learned that by shutting out the bad you also shut out the good. So, she let some of it in and she felt pain but she also felt happiness.

She knew most people were visiting the cemetery today, but she wasn't most people. She didn't want to sit amongst rotting corpses to remember those lost, she wanted to be with the living; wanted to be among 'normal' people, reminding herself why they did what they did, fighting the bad for the good of their nation.

She rounded a corner and walked past a children's playground, smiling softly at the shrieks and laughter, finding peace in the innocent shouts and fun. That was when she saw the man sitting on the bench a little further down the row of trees by the duck pond. He sat with his shoulders hunched and his head in his hands. Her heart went out to him, she knew how he felt, knew that he was grieving with her.

She approached the bench and hesitated for a moment, not sure whether to give him some space or whether to sit with him. She remembered the last time she'd seen him, he had been hollow, angry and he'd been hurt. Hurt by many and hurt by her. Not that she'd intended to hurt him, her just being there had caused him pain, had made him remember. She didn't blame him. If today was difficult for her, it was even harder for him. At least she'd been able to grieve at the time, he hadn't. He'd been taken from everything he trusted and had been hurt beyond anything she'd ever suffered. When he'd returned two months later he'd been broken and it had taken months for him to even begin to heal. That healing process had been slow and even though she'd tried to play a part she knew it wasn't enough. She sat.

He didn't even look up but he knew she was there, knew he wasn't alone. That was all she could hope for. She didn't reach out to him; she waited, knowing he would eventually reach out to her. At least she hoped he would.

She looked out over the pond, seeing the water ripple in the soft breeze and she basked in the simplicity of nature, the harmony of normality in their world that had so little time for such trivialities. It was only at moments like these she remembered what seemed trivial at a time of threat and high alert was actually what kept them doing what they did. That was why this was a perfect way to remember. A cemetery conjured thoughts of death while this conjured thoughts of life and why it should be protected.

She felt, rather than saw his eyes on her. She turned and looked into the face of the man who a year ago, she thought she might never see again. But she had seen him again, she'd got him back to US soil and once there, she'd been there for him in the only way she'd known how.

"Hey" she said, smiling softly.

"Hey" he didn't return her smile, but his eyes told her he was glad she was there. She did reach out to him then. She took hold of his hand, dragging his fingers against her own. Holding him firmly so he knew she was real, that she wasn't part of another dream he'd only wake up from.

She saw him look down at their entwined hands; she felt his fingers stroke against hers. Then she felt the strength of his muscles as he pulled her towards him, burying his face in her hair and breathing in the scent and feel of her.

"I'm sorry"

"It's ok Jack"

"No it isn't"

"I know, but I understand"

He leant back and looked into her eyes "You always do, but that doesn't make it right".

"I love you Jack"

Pain crossed his features as he closed his eyes at her words "I hurt you" he said.

"No you didn't"

His eyes snapped open "How can you say that?" he asked sharply.

"Because it's the truth" she answered simply.

His eyes shifted down, unable to bear the intensity and honesty in her expression. But she wouldn't let him give in so easily. She moved so she sat astride his thighs, holding him close, his face buried in her shoulder. They sat like that for several minutes until she wouldn't let him look away from her any longer. She pulled his head up so he had no choice but to see her face.

"You didn't hurt me, do you hear me? I am not hurt. You were angry; you have every right to be angry."

"But not with you" he sighed "never with you".

"I was just there Jack; I know you weren't angry with me. Not really."

"I shouldn't have shouted. I scared you."

"Only for a minute" she said, burying her face in his neck and kissing him there.

He placed his hands either side of her head, pulling her up so he could kiss her. His lips moulded themselves to hers, his tongue running across the inside of her bottom lip then tangling with her tongue in an exchange that had her heart almost beating out of her chest.

When they pulled apart breathlessly he buried his face in her chest. It was several minutes before his eyes met hers again. She laughed when she saw the lust in his expression.

"I want you Chloe" he said simply.

"I know"

"You're perfect"

"I know that too" she said and he laughed.

"Let's go home Mrs Bauer"

"Ok"

"I love you"

"I know"

"Is there anything you don't know?"

"I doubt it" she answered.

He laughed and pulled her up with him, he walked slowly along the path with her held tightly into his side.

They walked past two policemen who were patrolling the park. The older cop looked at the couple, thinking to himself that they were lucky to have the freedom to walk happily through the park. If they'd seen the sights he'd seen during the past thirty years they wouldn't look so relaxed and carefree.


End file.
